I wanted
to write you
an epic
verse filled with
love, war, death,
redemption,
hope, angst, tears,
and bright souls.
But all I
can think of
is farting
in your face.
Forgive me.
So stinky.
So sorry.
Month: May 2015
Friday Fun Facts: Septimania
Did ya know…?
Septimania was the western region of the Roman province of Gallia Narbonensis. Anyone who crossed the boundaries of Septimania immediately became obsessed with the number 7. All homes had 7 windows. All sheep had 7 heads. All families had 7 children. In 462, the darkwave band, The VisiGoths, took control of Septimania. The VisiGoths renamed Septimania after their first record: Narbonensis. Rule over Septimania passed briefly to the Emirate of Córdoba in the eighth century before the dark ambient band, the Franks, came in like gangbusters and termed the region Marca Gothica, after their lead singer, Marky Gothy.
Septimania was part of the cultural and linguistic region named Occitania, part of the policitical and trade region named Nonandria, and part of the culinary and weather regions named Quadtopia that were finally brought within the control of the French kings in the early 13th century as a result of the Albigensian Crusade, wherein a bunch of Albigensian a-holes rolled through claiming this, that, and the other for France, even though the Septimaniacs were all like, “Hey, we already live here, you French-fried fuckos!”. No matter that. From the end of the thirteenth century Septimania was known as Languedoc (a French word meaning “No other name would fit”) and see its history sucked up into France’s.
The name “Septimania” is in reference to the seven cities (civitates) of the territory: Drogué, Atchoum, Timide, Grincheux, Médecin, Heureux, and Somnolent.
…So now ya know!
The Ozark Howler
Listen of the Week: Valet
Nature by Valet
All-encompassing reverb tastefully colors equally clean synthetic elements and acoustic guitars, allowing Owens’s carefully placed vocals to lead the rhythms. Thanks to these driving vocals, “Nature” is simultaneously bold and soft pop that fits perfectly within the clear wall of sound that permeates the LP.
Poetry For Robots
Why write poetry for robots?
Why, then, do we search a simple on-line image bank with such literal terms? Because the robots haven’t been taught our poetry. They only know the technical EXIF metadata and whatever descriptive adjectives they’ve been begrudgingly fed by underpaid (or unpaid) interns. But what if we write poetry for the robots? What if we used poetry and metaphor as metadata? Would a search for “eyes” return images of stars?
Friday Fun Facts: Porokeratotic eccrine ostial and dermal duct nevus
Did ya know…?
Porokeratotic eccrine ostial and dermal duct nevus is a skin lesion that resembles a comedonal nevus, but it occurs on the palms and soles where pilosebaceous follicles are normally absent. It is probably transmitted by paradominant transmission during meretricious borborygmi. Epidermal keratoderma are localized lesions to describe hypothetized Porokeratotic eccrine ostial and dermal duct nevus and may be due to increased proliferatin staining the cornoid lamella. The lesions grow like thick like tree trunks, in hemidemisemiquaverous patterns, yet are soft like buttock jelly, and sprout sappy papules alongside dermal ducts containing somatic mosaicism. Some people are known to exhibit extreme agastopia in their regard. Notably, keratosis, alopecia, onychodysplasia, Bowen diseases all lack the cornoid lamella otherwise represented therein. With an erinaceous shape, these lesions will xertzly impignorate nearby skin cells, which can cause zoanthorpy in those prone to valetudinarianism and may contribute to ulotrichous oxters.
…So now ya know!
Listen of the Week: Faith No More
Sol Invictus by Faith No More
“[T]he album announces itself immediately with an alternately menacing and tinkling title track, and delivers ten solid songs that seem to touch on every era without craning its neck looking at the band’s past…”
http://www.avclub.com/review/faith-no-more-lost-nothing-18-years-apart-219010
One of my most favorite bands evah.
Friday Fun Facts: Text Linguistics
Did ya know…?
Text linguistics is a branch of linguistics that deals with texts as communication systems. Its original aims lay in uncovering and describing text grammars – which came first lol or bmgwl? The application of text linguistics has, however, evolved from this approach to a point in which text is viewed in much broader terms that go beyond a mere extension of traditional grammar towards an deciphering entire text conversations like:
do u think i’m cute?
no 😉
m i pretty 😉
no
so i’m beautiful ❤
no ur ugly
-and-
how is ruth?
not sure. dumped her.
ur so ruthless.
fml
-and-
i’m into nazi clown porn.
no. i’m not. yr mom got my phone.
Nazi Clowns Über Alles!
she did it again.
Bozo be bumpin’.
how do i lock this thing?
Text linguistics takes into account the grammar of a text, the sender of a text, as well as its recipient(s). In general it is an application of discourse analysis at every level of text: letter, symbol, word, sentence.
…So now ya know!
Listen of the Week (Bonus Edition)
I am entering into a Danielewski-hole for the foreseeable future
Give my regards to your mom…
Jason Preu 
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