Which I’ve finally caught up on so I’m taking a hot minute to say, “What up, yo?” and to tell you what I did whilst on paternity leave:

1 – Held my son while gently smacking his bum.
2 – Watched Star Trek.
3 – Feed my son.
4 – Watched Star Trek: The Next Generation.
5 – Changed my son’s diapers.
6 – Watched Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

And truly, folks, that’s about it. Caring for an infant requires 99% of one’s attention. And I made sure to nap when he did, otherwise I’d have been more fried than I was. The experience was something I’d recommend for new dads. It wasn’t what I’d call fun, but it was enjoyable and probably the most rewarding two weeks of work I’ve ever done. I came to know what Roman’s different cries and noises and faces signified. I got to hold him close for 7 to 8 hours a day. And I got to make him laugh at me while we both listened to the Old School rap station on Sirius and I rapped along.

So what else went down the past two weeks? Well, we got the new g-ride. We traded Time Warner for Dish Network. Awesome move. Dish has The Documentary Channel which plays pretty much non-stop at our house now. Dish also has IMF (the International Music Feed, on which we can peep out interesting Japanese bands) and 20 or so Sirius channels. We got a land line, which neither of us have had in…3 years…?…We missed the Xiu Xiu show last Sunday. My allergies kicked into high gear. I spent the entire last day of paternity leave in my pajamas.

Now, I must visit the UU toilet.