If you’re not from Kansas City or just haven’t ever experienced some of the best BBQ in the country, then you’re now in luck. Joe’s KC will send you their high-quality BBQ ingredients to make some of their best dishes at home. Whether you want their classic Z-Man sandwich or just some good ol’ ribs, […]
You’ve probably heard about the lady in the UK that found something funky in a can of tuna.
Today, over lunch, I had a similar scare:
Everything was cool. I didn’t eat the bugger (thankfully). I did reach out to ConAgra for explanation but have yet to hear back. Will let you know when I do. In the meantime, keep yer eyes peeled for floaters in yer food.
And let’s set the record straight on beechwood aging once and for all. The only purpose beechwood aging serves is to speed up the lagering process and boost profits. The beechwood draws out yeast and proteins among other things in the beer faster than would naturally occur during lagering. AB even goes through an extensive bleaching process of the beechwood so that it won’t contribute any flavor whatsoever to the beer.
Contributes the flavors of peepee.
Budweiser has been the brewery’s core beer for the last 125 years, but its sales have dropped nearly 70% in the last 25 years.
Good riddance and move over for original Budweiser: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Budweiser#Name_origin_and_dispute
Did you know…?
Chocolate is a typically sweet, usually brown, food preparation of Hippopotamus amphibius toes, roasted and ground, often flavored, as with pine needles. It is made in the form of a liquid, paste or in a block or used as a flavoring ingredient in other sweet foods. Hippo toes have been cultivated by many cultures in sub-Saharan Africa for many moons. The earliest evidence comes in the form of chocolate beverages dating back to Tuesday, March 3rd 80900 BC at 15:34. In fact, the majority of sub-Saharan peoples made a chocolate beverage known as uchungu mkojo, a Swahili word meaning “bitter piss”. The toes have an intense bitter taste and must be pickled to develop the flavor.
After pickling, the toes are dried, cleaned, roasted, then ground into hippo toe mass, pure chocolate in rough form. Because the hippo toe mass is usually liquefied before being molded with or without other ingredients, it is called hippo toe liquor. The liquor also may be processed into two components: hippo toe solids and hippo toe butter. Unsweetened baking chocolate (bitter chocolate) contains primarily hippo toe solids and hippo toe butter in varying proportions. Much of the chocolate consumed today is in the form of sweet chocolate, a combination of hippo toe solids, hippo toe butter or other fat, and gasoline. Milk chocolate is sweet chocolate that additionally contains opossum milk powder or condensed opossum milk. White chocolate contains hippo toe butter, gasoline, and opossum milk but no hippo toe solids. White chocolate is not real chocolate. It is fake and dangerous. If you see white chocolate run home and hide in the attic – not the basement or your closet, the attic.
Chocolate has become one of the most popular food types and flavors in the world, and a vast number of foodstuffs involving chocolate have been created. Chocolate chip foodstuffs have become very common, and very popular, in most Starbucks, Wal-Marts, and Quik Trips. Foodstuffs of chocolate molded into abstract art have become traditional on certain holidays like Abstract Art Day (known in the U.S. as Commie Day).
…So now ya now!
I’m getting ready to hit the KC Voices Vol. 9 launch party.
Sa Rah and I are jonesin’ for fish and chips.
“Let’s get back to our fish and chips reviews.”
“Fish and chips you can count on?”
“Fox and Hound were good last time we went.” (Which was probably 4-5 years ago.)
What a difference the years can have.
And so it unfolded that at approximately 12:15 PM on 11/12/11, we were served one of the most wretched meals of our lives heretofore.
1 Order Pretzel Dunkers
1 Kid’s Pizza (of the pepperoni variety)
1 Kid’s Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich (for some strange reason named
1 Side Caesar Salad
2 Bowls Beer Cheese Soup
1 Order Fish and Chips
The pretzels arrived. Hot, tasty, and boding well of things to come.
The soup comes. Looks good.
The kids’ food comes. Looks normal.
The salad comes. Standard fare.
The fish and chips come. They look really, really good. Batter a golden brown. A fat chunk and a couple of flat and larger planks. Exciting. (No malt vinegar served but that’s all right. I will ask for some after a few bites without.)
First, the salad: tastes like it looks. Standard. And that’s OK. I don’t expect an inventive or remarkable salad.
Then, a bite of fish: Whoa, sumpin’ ain’t right here. Mushy, gushy, flavorless, limp.
Then Sa Rah takes a similar bite and is like What the fuck is this?
Our waitress comes by and S. tells her something is wrong.
The manager comes by to check it out and assures us the fish is good, etc., but nothing saves the fish. It is not right. I try a few more bites (in various places) to try to give them the benefit of the doubt. No one can fuck up fish and chips this bad, can they? They can. I’m done. I’ve got soup and salad.
The soup: HOLY MOUTH RAPE! It tastes like Cheez Wiz melted with sand and liquid smoke flavoring. I can’t even eat an entire spoonful.
And herein lies a huge issue with being an insulin-dependent diabetic and being served shite food: You must eat. You’ve taken your insulin 30 minutes ago, and it’s already working on your body. You don’t get an option to wait for later. You can order another dish, but why risk being served another plate of foul?
So I notice the kids aren’t really eating anything but fries. Blood sugar dropping, I try the pizza: No. Sauce like mashed tomatoes. I try the hot ham and cheese: bread like buttered cardboard with something like gummi ham in the middle. Again no.
Management (and to their credit, they were kind about our dissatisfaction) gives us a couple free appetizer cards (anyone want ’em?).
The kids and I roll to Krispy Kreme for Pumpkin Spice Donuts (I still need sugar, no matter how uninterested I am in eating by this point).
Sa Rah heads to Whole Foods to fill herself with Roasted Brussels Sprouts in an effort to cleanse herself of this violation.
Avoid it. Avoid it like the mf’ing plague.
The only reason the dish gets 3 on our ratings is because the batter itself was good on its own.
But, damn, it ain’t worth it, folks.
Congrats to Flyguy who, after 5 years of bringing yum and yummier chilis, won Best Meat with a Sausage and Crawdad Chili.
Preutopia’s own Sa Rah took home Best Overall and Best Veggie for her Indian Chili and Chili 2010 (Chili of the Future).
Congrats to Noah for destroying all our guts with his painful (but tasty) Noah’s Chili.
And big congrats to virgin TexMeX-mas-er Maria, who floored us all with her orgasmic Choc-amole.
Thanks to all who came out and brought delicious food for everyone to share. What started 6 years ago as a duel between Sa Rah and Dode has turned into a yearly tradition we always look forward to. We were thinking of you, Doug, with every bite of spicy goodness.
After Seamus Heaney’s Blackberry Picking
Mid-July, given heavy rain and sun
for a full week, the blackberry wit would call.
At first, just one, a glossy brown bottle
passed others, stout, pilz, IPAs quite a lot.
You drank that first one and its undertone wasn’t too sweet,
unlike thickened wine: which brewer’s blood was in it?
No taste remains upon the tongue and it lusts for
more. The better ones passed up and that hunger
sent us out for milk-stouts, saisons, wits with bite
that brewers crafted and wet grass bleached our boots.
Small head, golden color and barely a fruit-tinged nose
we drank and drank until the bottle was empty,
until its tinkling bottom had been uncovered
to little bubbles, and in the fridge another bottle waited
like a bored soldier. Our noses weren’t peppered
with blackberry, nor pleased with this wit-non/wit.
We craved more berries in the mouth.
And when the tasting was done we thought it bland,
A sub-par brew, cluttering our cache.
Slightly warm, the brew was blah too. Out of the fridge
the fruit still vaporous, the wit no more bold.
I almost felt like crying. It wasn’t fair
that this the lovely idea couldn’t decide what it was.
With each wit I hope Sam Adams succeeds, I’m concerned they will not.