Things that have happened while you were away:

1. America lost its mind.
2. Millions of turkeys died for your sins.
3. Preutopia moved to a new, stately manor, creatively titled, Preutopia III: Home Warriors.
4. I once again failed NaNoWriMo but did get about 36K words put into a dastardly, puzzling thing of language that one day may see the full whites of your eyes.
5. A Tribe Called Quest released my favorite album of the year.
6. My beard grew more wiry.
7. My tongue grew more wicked.
8. My heart grew more weary.
9. My hopes grew more distant.
10. My desires grew lips and finally kissed me back.