A is for Asphyxiation
     When all you need is air

B is for Beheading
     Say, how’s the view from there?

C is for Crucifixion
     Yes, nailed upon a cross

D is for Dismemberment
     Your limbs get plumb torn off

E is for Electrocution
     A zappy way to go

F is for Firing Squad
     Riddled through with holes

G is for Garrotting
     A wire through the neck

H is for Hanging
     Thirteen knots is best

I is for Impaling
     Through the heart, you’re to blame

J is for Japanese Encephalitis
     Asian problems with the brain

K is for Keelhauling
     Not a pleasant way to cruise

L is for Lockjaw
     With rusty nails you always lose

M is for Malaria
     Don’t forget to drink your DEET

N is for Necrosis
     Rotting flesh is not that neat

O is for Obesity
     Must be hauled out by a truck

P is for Poisoning
     You drank that? Of all the luck

Q is for Quartering
     Pulled to pieces under blue skies

R is for Rabies
     From when the bat flew in your eye

S is for Stoning
     Body pummeled by short sharp shots

T is for Typhoid
     Poop-tainted water -> rose-colored spots

U is for Uritis
     You should’ve gone to the loo

V is for Venom
     From the viper that just bit you

W is for Wandering Spleen
     That goes in all directions

X is for X-linked severe combined immunodeficiency
     So you cannot fight infection

Y is for Yersinia pestis
     Though we know it as Bubonic

Z is for Zygomycosis
     A common fungus that goes chronic

Now you know your ABCs
     Your time is short, so live with glee!