Ironic Methods with Sincere Motivations

If you’re in Kansas City this Friday, come check this out:

The curators are using photocopiers and office printers to reproduce art, words, and musings. At the reception, gallery go-ers will be able to do the same. The images will then be hung in the gallery, to create a new collage from the results. Some of my writings will be thar, including a piece about the miniaturized clones of Milli Vanilli that live in my underwear drawer.

Ironic Methods with Sincere Motivations

Ode to the Miniaturized Clones of Milli Vanilli, Who’ve Been Living in My Underwear Drawer Since 1998

In my child’s mind, you were never this small.

     My sense of stature so warped and misinformed.

You loomed then, dreadlocked, aus Deutschland, tall,

     silky coats, fucked-up hats, my how you performed.

And then a mighty furor, exposed as musical frauds

     but you can’t fake being awesome, boys.

Though the songs were never yours, yours was the applause

     that compelled 90’s geneticists, such that fueled their ploy.

Of dance-inspired DNA and pop music magic dust,

     were you wee and wily Uberkünstler wrought.

Now girls (and boys) you know it’s true the trust

     this experiment required would be in earnest sought.

But never could those geniuses get you a second look

     from the legions of pop fandom or those fools at Rolling Stone.

“Once a cheat, cloned a cheat!” Forever now forsook,

     wrapped in a KFC napkin, into this drawer were you thrown.

How lucky that I came upon you at that quiet estate sale

     of the broken, bankrupt scientist who cracked your bio code.

I was furnishing my household, enraptured by your home’s details,

     later folding my adult Underoos, saw there that you were stowed.

And each and every night I’ve begged for Girl I’m Gonna Miss You

     or a Dreams to Remember upon a tiny, well-lit stage.

But you say your hearts are broken, with music you are through,

     Everyone’s forgotten your number and you’re not fit for this age.

So only rarely do you micro Milli V.’s leave my oaken bureau

     with tear-stained eyes alight with loss and pain.

You’d rather remain snugly nestled where mini, cloned, pop stars go

     to rest in cotton solitude, where you blame it on the Hanes®.

Ode to the Miniaturized Clones of Milli Vanilli, Who’ve Been Living in My Underwear Drawer Since 1998