You have been gifted 5 million dollars from a tech entrepreneur.
You feel as though all your dreams will now come true.
You reply him for your claim.
“Hello,” you say. “I am calling to claim you my 5 million dollars.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Bill Gates says in a distinctly Seattleite accent. “My brother died in a car accident last week. He was driving his limousine when it crashed into a tree.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” you offer with a heavy heart.
Bill Gates’ mystery brother dead!
“It cost 5 million dollars USD to pay for his funeral. So now I am in need of your help. Will you help me?”
You sit in your kitchen in quiet awe.
A split watermelon attracts a housefly.
This famous, wealthy stranger needs your assistance.
You ask, “What type of help do you need?”
Mr. Gates replies, “I need 1,000 USD ASAP.”
You respond in disbelief, “Bill Gates! You need 1,000 USD?”
Bill Gates exclaims, “How untrusting you are! I was set to bestow 5 million dollars upon you, yet you question whether or not to gift me 1,000 USD, preferably wired to this Turkish bank account.”
You say, “It’s just that you sounded so desperate.”
Bill Gates laughs.
You laugh.
Gifts and goodwill toward all are awesome.
flash fiction
Year of the Owl from Lucas Wetzel
A selection of 365 short bits, extracted and compiled from various studio writings, notebooks, voice memos, letters, stories, and essays.
Quite enjoyable and amenable to your on-the-go lifestyle.
Mirror
Dearest,
I am not the kind of man who gives himself over to wanton gushing
regarding the mystical apparatuses of love. Love you, however, I
do. When first I saw you in this blackened mirror, frightened
though I was by your wispy visage and morbid accoutrements, I felt
instantly overcome by an overwhelmingly esteemed and unrelenting
enthrallment. Nevermind my viscera entangled and twisted by such
untoward tumultuous passion; my sole desire herewith is to
patiently await your return. I show you these words tonight and
pray for any type of reciprocation. I pray you won’t leave again.
Indefinitely yours,
Forever
Available at Charlotte Street Open Studios 4/29/2016
Latest book, Small Facts:
https://charlottestreetstudios.wordpress.com/2016/04/20/open-studios-weekend-april-29th-30th/
50 copies only. Get ’em while you can!
Twilight (mercifully, vampire-free)
Some flash fiction of mine published by the good folks of 101fiction.com for their Issue #7, with a theme of “green.”
Check it: