Stonehenge was a fast food restaurant for Druids

They would roll up for a mutton burger with a side of porridge fries. Stonehenge management considering franchising but then they met the Romans.

Sebastien, the Roman, wrote of their first encounter, “The leader of the Druids, a Greek probably, who I think was a priest or something, said to us, ‘These are the chefs of the Druids. You must help us make them into restaurateurs or whatever the case may be, and we will shape them to take over Stonehenge’s management and be the ones who control the stones, which is very difficult to do, because Stonehenge has over 12,000 stones.'”

Sebastien wrote, “And so that’s what we tried to do. But we couldn’t keep the stones in the chefs’ care, we couldn’t, because we Romans were too greedy. Rome would have gone bankrupt without the stones, and the Druids would have gone bankrupt, too.”

Sebastien wrote, “So we Romans tried to make sure everyone could have a piece of that Stonehenge pie even though the Druids were always the ones who were the real masters of Stonehenge.”

Sebastien explained, “Then, when we Romans found out the Druids were trying to kick us out of Stonehenge, we turned around and basically said, ‘We never liked praying and sacrificing and eating there anyway.'”

But then, as soon as the Romans found out Stonehenge was being sold to the Norse by the Druid owners, the Romans brought the hammer down.

They put a bar in the basement called Sebastien’s and put all kinds of non-Druidic people in charge of Stonehenge’s finances.

Sebastien wrote, “Finally the Druids approached us Romans and asked us to have the people who really know how to run things come run Stonehenge and come up for a drink at Sebastien’s, where all the Druids liked drinking.”

Sebastien wrote, “And that was the end of the real Stonehenge.”

Sebastien said, “There was a time, when Stonehenge was re-opened, in 1701 in France, when the French were at war with Britain and a lot of the stone was taken out of England by the French.”

But, by 1760, the French had won that war, and all the stones were returned to Stonehenge, which was then re-closed in 1791.”

Sebastien wrote, “The idea was that we Romans in England had this big problem with those Romans in Rome but we rarely complained even though we were not allowed to keep any stones that we personally prayed over or anything sweet like that.”

Sebastien wrote, “Eventually, the Romans down south closed Stonehenge the restaurant and then they moved Sebastien’s (and the rest of us) to Northampton where they’d bring up lots of people all the year round to drink and eat mutton burgers and porridge fries fresh from the bar’s kitchen. We used the old recipies. The people loved it.”

Stonehenge was a fast food restaurant for Druids