10 Lyrics that are better than “Cause I’m the wizard of love \ And I got the magic wand”

from OMI’s “Cheerleader”

1) “Cause I’m the dragon of desire \ Watch out, my tool’s a’fire”
2) “Cause I’m the magician of making love \ Come and scry upon my nub”
3) “Cause I’m the sorcerer of sex \ My flying waterbed will get you wet”
4) “Cause I’m the warlock of whoopee \ And you can call me Shirley”
5) “Cause I like to do it \ And I have a penis”
6) “Cause I have a penis \ And I like to do it”

OK, I give up on writing 10 of these things. 6 will do and here is a bonus round that I am making up on the spot for you that deals with lazy euphemisms. I call it, “This Lack of Male Heterosexual Innuendo Might Be the Birth of You”:

I am free of innuendo
So will now talk of penises
     as they enter vaginas
     and thrust several times
     before releasing semen
     and falling flaccid shortly thereafter.

Being free of innuendo let’s
     me do this, let’s me say
     just the facts, nothing less
     nothing more.

I like good innuendo, funny euphemisms. If somebody told me they were the wizard of love and that they got a magic wand for me – I would tell them they just rolled a 1 on a d20: critical miss, shit is over, time to practice your solo magick!

10 Lyrics that are better than “Cause I’m the wizard of love \ And I got the magic wand”