They said rock was dead. They said spandex had an expiration date. They said you couldn’t legally rhyme "desire" with "fire" anymore. They were wrong.
Poynt'd Styk, the band that defined—and perhaps inadvertently ended—the glam metal era of the late 80s, has resurfaced. Comprising the blonde bombshell guitarist Billie Angel, the headband-wearing low-end theorist Rikki Danger, the pink-haired percussion demon Nikki Rose, and the velvet-lunged frontman Johnny Starr, the Styk has returned to poke the world in the eye one last time.
Where have they been since their legendary "Hide Your Daughters Tour '87"? The rumors were rampant. Some said they were abducted by aliens attracted to the high-frequency squeal of Billie's pinch harmonics. Others claimed they entered a "temporary" meditative state that lasted four decades.
"We didn't break up," says Johnny Starr, adjusting his red sequined shirt. "We just got locked in the green room. Rikki thought the door was jammed. Turns out it was a pull, not a push. We waited 45 years for a roadie to let us out."
Whatever the truth, the band is back with a vengeance—and a reissue. Their record label, smelling the nostalgia (and the Aquanet), has finally released the 45th Anniversary Edition of their chart-topping, controversial anthem, "Black Pussy Cat."
The single, known for its thundering riff and lyrics that are definitely about a feline and nothing else, has been remastered from the original analog tapes found in a damp basement in Fairway, Kansas. But the real treat for audiophiles is the B-Side: "Styk N' Move," a power ballad so potent it has been known to make grown men weep and lighters spontaneously ignite.
"The world needs the Styk right now," says Nikki Rose, peering over pink sunglasses. "AI can write a sonnet, but can it do a drum solo while wearing a feather boa and not break a sweat? I don't think so."
With Billie Angel still shredding in fishnets and Rikki Danger proving that fur coats are a year-round commitment, Poynt'd Styk isn't just a band. They are a warning. A promise. A lifestyle choice that requires significant commitment to leather maintenance.
Stream "Black Pussy Cat" & "Styk N' Move"
The "Hide Your Daughters (And Granddaughters)" Tour kicks off next month. You have been warned.