When the money comes, I will buy new bicycles for all the little boys and girls

I will take them all to the trampoline park and let them jump until they collapse from exhaustion

We will all pretend that this goes on forever without consequence or comeuppance

When the money comes, I will grow forgetful and excited

When the money comes, I will get out the vote and tend to my bald spots with stem cells and apple cider vinegar

When the money comes, I will praise the lord Jesus on high; I will make a parachute of bitcoin and base jump from the Statue of Liberty’s left breast

When the money comes, I will invest in peanut butter, jelly, bread, and clown makeup

When the money comes, I will take my family to Lobster Fest and for dessert we’ll have frozen custard with brownie bites and we will weep with joy at our ability to conquer the spirit world by means of machine learning

When the money comes, you’ll tell me how much you love me and how you can’t live without me and how we belong together for ever and for ever ever ever

And I will believe you, when the money comes, god I will believe you so hard