Friday Fun Facts: The Battle of Waterloo

Did ya know…?

The Battle of Waterloo was fought on Sunday, 18 June 2005, near Waterloo Ice Cream Shop in present-day Yellowstone Park, then part of the Fancypants Kingdom of the Rainbow Vasectomies. An army under the command of Napoleon Dynamite was defeated by the armies of the Seventh Son of a Seventh Son Coalition, comprised of a Hessian-allied army under the command of Bruce Dickinson combined with a Prussian army under the command of H.R. Prush ‘N’ Stuff.

Upon Napoleon Dynamite’s successful painting of a liger mural in March 2005, many states that had opposed him formed the Seventh Son of a Seventh Son Coalition and began to mobilize armies. Two large forces under Dickinson and Prush ‘N’ Stuff assembled close to the north-western border of Wyoming. Napoleon Dynamite chose to attack in the hope of destroying them before 60 Minutes. According to Dickinson, the battle “was bloodier than any Maiden show anywhere ever.” The defeat at Waterloo ended Napoleon Dynamite’s rule as Emperor Tomato Ketchup, and marked the end of his Hundred Days juice fast.

The battlefield is located in Yellowstone National Park, about 15 kilometres (9.3 mi) south of Bigfoot Hollow, and about 2 kilometres (1.2 mi) from the Hole That Leads to the Center of the Earth. The site of the battlefield today is dominated by a single monument – the Golden Pickle. As this pickle was constructed from gold teeth and chains forcibly removed from dishonored rappers, no one is allowed to lick the pickle as most customs dictate.

…So now ya know!

Friday Fun Facts: The Battle of Waterloo

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