In my child’s mind, you were never this small.
My sense of stature so warped and misinformed.
You loomed then, dreadlocked, aus Deutschland, tall,
silky coats, fucked-up hats, my how you performed.
And then a mighty furor, exposed as musical frauds
but you can’t fake being awesome, boys.
Though the songs were never yours, yours was the applause
that compelled 90’s geneticists, such that fueled their ploy.
Of dance-inspired DNA and pop music magic dust,
were you wee and wily Uberkünstler wrought.
Now girls (and boys) you know it’s true the trust
this experiment required would be in earnest sought.
But never could those geniuses get you a second look
from the legions of pop fandom or those fools at Rolling Stone.
“Once a cheat, cloned a cheat!” Forever now forsook,
wrapped in a KFC napkin, into this drawer were you thrown.
How lucky that I came upon you at that quiet estate sale
of the broken, bankrupt scientist who cracked your bio code.
I was furnishing my household, enraptured by your home’s details,
later folding my adult Underoos, saw there that you were stowed.
And each and every night I’ve begged for Girl I’m Gonna Miss You
or a Dreams to Remember upon a tiny, well-lit stage.
But you say your hearts are broken, with music you are through,
Everyone’s forgotten your number and you’re not fit for this age.
So only rarely do you micro Milli V.’s leave my oaken bureau
with tear-stained eyes alight with loss and pain.
You’d rather remain snugly nestled where mini, cloned, pop stars go
to rest in cotton solitude, where you blame it on the Hanes®.
The imagery is fantastic. And, anything mentioning Underoos is an instant classic, for me.
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They’re definitely hard to resist! Thank you for stopping by and sharing.
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Seconded!
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BLAME IT ON THE HANES! YOU WIN THE INTERNET, SIR! *ahem* A fantastic subject for such an ode as this. 🙂
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🙂
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Good to see your work and theme highlighted in Ben’s Hot Off the Press Theme article. I, of course, have sampled new themes as much as I’ve sampled hair color, which is a lot. arg. Perhaps I still haven’t found what I’m looking for, as U2 sang so well.
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I just saw that! Very cool. I actually just switched to Minnow at the first of the year in a grand effort to bring Devious Bloggery back from hibernation.
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ah… rob and fabrice found word-immortality here today. excellent.
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Well thank you much stopping by and saying so!
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Enjoyed the originality.
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Right on! Thanks for stopping by.
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Your title cracked me up, and sucked me in. Excellent ode! I still adore Milli Vanilli. 🙂 Blame it on the Rain is my favourite. 🙂
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🙂 Me too! I once did a dramatic public reading of Blame it on the Rain interspersed with some other poetry.
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I loved faux Milli Vanilli. Had the CD. Your ode is very cool, words are excellent, and you made me giggle just a bit.
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All right! Giggles abound. You need a new copy of the album?
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Maybe…thinking about it.
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Very cool! 🙂
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Thanks for dropping by!
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Definitely chuckleworthy 🙂 But they didn’t have a good end, you know? Still, their songs (and the memory of those tight tight trousers) loom large in my mind.
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I know, sadly. It bums me out and why I want clones of them that live forever. Tragic.
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I’m glad we could honour their memory like this. You moreso than me but I appreciate that you did.
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The music industry is a strange beast. https://www.stereogum.com/2157348/the-number-ones-milli-vanillis-girl-im-gonna-miss-you/columns/the-number-ones/
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
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I am listening to this right now. It is soooo good! 😀 😀 God, those guys were seriously handsome.
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Fine looking dudes – perfect front men – and they COULD sing (just not like Milli Vanilli)! Those songs are all fun and crazy well-crafted.
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