Preutopia has been sacked by the likes of dastardly Influenzigoths who have since rechristened our once precious land: Flutopia!
On behalf of all that is holy, healthy, and non-spewing/aching/fevering/chilling/can’t-stay-awaking…make haste to send reserve fighters to our shores.
The tides seemed to have turned in our favor as of the middle of Wednesday last, as our mavenly matriarch and pint-sized Prince of Preutopia both won hardy, well-fought bouts against the first wave of oncoming Influenzigoths…but come this Sunday past, our veritable veteran, paterfamilias himself, succumbed to a poison-laden bearclaw delivered by an Influenzigoth assassin!
Woo and Misery!
Our matriarch had by then expired all defenses and she too soon succumbed to this second wave of befouled, bedrooled, bedamned, beboymakingwiththefreakfreaked, Influenzigoth treachery.
Our soul remaining hope stands with the Prince, who is now holed up with his forces in the Nurserium Mountains. The Prince of Preutopia fights day and night against fodder from the Influenzigoth diarrheapults and has not yet been broken by this nefarious attack. Nay, but the Prince is young and inexperienced…we know not what shall happen should such youthful luster be oversodden by Influenzigoth troops. Shall Preutopia fall completely and forevermore?
Future distrans doubtful…