Tag this.

So, Noah tagged me (the punk). Now I must deliver the factual goods. Here they are…

5 Facts About Me (that you might not know even after 3 years of reading my blog)

1. One of the first people I became friends with when I moved to Olathe in 1992 was a guy, my age, who was awaiting trial for robbing the Stanley Bank. He and a friend stuck up the bank and the friend’s girlfriend ratted them out because she got pissed one evening. He was white. He was Mormon (at least he came from a Mormon family). And he was somehow affiliated with the Bloods – I never got the full story on that one. He got sent to Lansing shortly before Senior Prom.

2. In 5th grade, I decided to perform science experiments on mosquito larvae. I don’t recall what the different experiments were, but I did keep detailed notes at the time. Suffice it to say – none of the larvae matured…I don’t know if that was my hypothesis or not. I have a sinking feeling I was trying to create super mosquitoes.

3. I try to shave my head with the cycle of the moon. Like a reverse werewolf.

4. I am still a poet, dammit, even if I never write another poetic syllable in my life. I am still a philosopher, dammit, even if I’d rather now breathe deeply and smile than think deeply and argue.

5. At the age of 22, I was trying hard to learn to lucid dream. At the same time, I was about a year into a very disciplined meditation routine. One evening, I was sitting in my room and trying a mental experiment to will myself into a lucid dream state. The room was pitch black. Over a period of time I noticed a small pinhole of white begin to grow, ever-so-slowly, until the light hung fully over my head – engulfing the entire upper half of my room. I reached up to touch the light and just as my fingers brushed it, it disappeared and I was left breathing fast and short. I didn’t sleep for two full days afterwards, nor was I tired. I don’t recall what I did those two days…nothing truly extraordinary…and a few weeks later, after a lucid dream involving ninjas on jet-skis (no joke) I abandoned that project.

Sweet. I’m done. Now I’mma break the chain! As much as I’d love to pass this on to Dodo or Jen…the facts stop here. And you may feel free to blame me when everyone starts telling stories today, stories about a war between the trees and the sky, stories about vengeful gonads, stories about a girl who grew up to be a dentist…and a ballerina, stories about a story that tells stories to other stories. You can blame me when the facts you expected to hear from your stockbroker and your doctor and your business partner come out sounding a bit like Pynchon. Send the questions my way, the facts stop here.

Tag this.

2 thoughts on “Tag this.

  1. flyingdodo says:

    way to bust out the uber-memory cells, jay.
    you never told me about that lucid rapture thing at 22. not that you should have.
    hell, maybe you did. I don’t recall a lot about that year.
    except that I figured out how to solve all crime and poverty worldwide.
    but I don’t recall quite how that worked either.
    my uber-memory cells mostly went wimpering and stumbling away to melt into a dark corner after that year.
    but what a year it was.

    …right?

  2. I’ve been able to lucid dream. The trick for me is to use a very careful and slow adaptation of my typical “shutdown sequence initiated!” meditation that usually has me lights-out-in-lala-land in under a minute.

    What’s funny is I remember the bank getting robbed in Stanley in 1992. I was living a few miles south in Stilwell.