Lazlo is Audi 5000

We paid a visit to him at his final Hard Drive appearance at Raoul’s. Someone brought him an inflatable penis. That was nice. Slimfast has been handed the reins to the show. He’s got some fun ideas planned. Today, I am notarizing over 200 signatures. Well, not now. Now I’m typing so as to avoid tendonitis in my fingers. Our baby is due roughly 7 weeks from today. Gimp told me about a great bike ride coming up Sunday. Saturday we’re going to a big, breast-cancer-awareness fundraiser. Why am I thinking about the weekend? I’m tired of notarizing. I should get some coffee to go with this leftover Quaker Breakfast Graham bar I have in front of me. Lately I’ve taken to removing my glasses while watching the morning news. I simply eat my oatmush and listen to the dimly-colored amorphous blobs relate to me the grim and gory details of an overnight accident involving a semi-truck and a mini-van full of children on their way to McDonald’s for a late-night fry run. I glibly sip my room-temperature water and catch up on the latest government mishap. This brain is no longer able to handle the mismatch of such gorgeous news people with the package they are employed to deliver so lately I’ve taken to making sure I leave out my contacts until after the morning news.The effect is akin to news radio with an abstract visual component thrown in for good measure. The news itself is no better or worse than years prior – it’s just those faces and those names across the bottom of my screen (especially those Columbia sportswear outfits emblazoned with studio logo) that I prefer to turn into blurry, foggy, smudges with voices.

Lazlo is Audi 5000