And I’ve got a spoiler for all of you.
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If you don’t want to know the true secret of the DaVinci Code, please stop reading now.
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If you don’t want to know information so mind-numbing, paradigm-shifting, bowel-releasing, faith-shattering and finger-licking that God himself has banned from on high, please stop reading now.
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If you can’t handle the Truth, in whatever form it may take, please stop reading now.
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People everywhere, I am going to save you $8 on a movie and 3 hours of life wasted reading terrible literature.
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People everywhere, I will now unveil to you the True Secret of the DaVinci Code!:
The True Secret is:
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Wait for it:
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Wait for it:
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THE TRUE SECRET OF THE DAVINCI CODE IS!:
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Jesus and Mary shared popsicles.
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I heart J Double P.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That’s it… I’m starting a cult!