I’ve not much time.
WHEREAS, on October 15th, 2005, Tan Nguyen and Jennifer Brock-Nguyen (the â€œHostsâ€?) held an annual party wherein certain prizes and accolades were given out to various guests with regard to guest costume design;
WHEREAS, the returning Group Champions (the â€œChampsâ€?) arrived to the party as Troop 69, a troop of degenerate Brownies and Girl Scouts;
WHEREAS, the challenging Group (the â€œAgate Groupâ€?) arrived to the party as Refrigerator Magnet Poetry;
WHEREAS, upon the awards announcement, the prize for Best Group was awarded to the Agate Group instead of the Champs, despite the Agate Groupâ€™s obviously sloppy and hasty execution of an otherwise quite creative costume idea and despite the Champs setting the bar for Best Group in yearsâ€™ past with such costumes as Poyntâ€™d Styk, The Other Holidays, Communist Sperm and Characters from ClueÂ®, a bar which the Agate Group clearly failed to surpass;
WHEREAS, it has come to the attention of certain Champs that the initial vote was a split vote, with Jennifer Brock-Nguyen voting for the Champs and Tan Nguyen voting against the Champs,
WHEREAS, it has come to the attention of certain Champs that one possible reason Mr. Nguyen voted against the Champs was that several members of the Agate Group helped Mr. Nguyen in setting up for the Halloween Party;
WHEREAS, it has come to the attention of certain Champs that another possible reason Mr. Nguyen voted against the Champs was that, as witnessed by Mrs. Jennifer Brock-Nguyen, several members of the Agate Group â€œguilt-trippedâ€? Mr. Nguyen into voting for them as Best Group 2005 in exchange for stated help in setting up Halloween Party. Additionally, Mrs. Brock-Nguyen witnessed further â€œguilt-trippingâ€? by the Agate Group due to their bruised egos from 2004â€™s Halloween Party, wherein the Agate Group left the party too early to be considered for Best Group;
WE THE UNDERSIGNED, due to the reasons above, demand a complete recall and recount be conducted with regards to the voting procedure and outcome in this matter. At the very least, the undersigned hope to make it clear to Mr. Nguyen that this type of favoritism and neighborhood cronyism will not be tolerated at future events that he hosts.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the undersigned have executed this document on this 18th day of October, 2005.
Pictures Forthcoming So That You, The Reader, May Come To Your Own Decision.
In other news,
I want one.
I need some.
I’m Straight Outta Compton. (Thanks, Bean. I scored perfect.)