Before I end it all, allow me to retort

So I find out this morning that the Superficial Plaza Chick has invited me to be roasted.
One wonders if this is the tactic she employs for dating, “Hey, I see you’re minding your own business…care to let me make your life miserable for a bit?” With this approach, is it any surprise she’s hooked up with winners such as these:

# 01
# 02
# 03
# 04
# 05
# 06
# 07
# 08
# 09
# 10
# 11
(That’s one for every month since last October, except for June of ’05.)

One thing you might notice about SPC is that she doesn’t post photos of herself and her readers often bemoan this fact. Some people think this lack of photographic representation means that SPC is ugly or really a guy. I doubt it. The folks who post tons of photos of themselves on-line are rarely that fine (take a look around this site if you think otherwise). Plus, why advertise with a photo? When you get around like she does, and write about it later, the way you look doesn’t even factor. SPC could be a transsexual, Nazi Eskimo…but she puts out. That’s all you need to know.

Now I began reading SPC’s blog way back when she first started and the first thing I thought was, “This lady knows what pleases women.” And, after almost a year of reading her, I still think that. She knows women so well that she’d probably be a lot happier if she started dating them. Well, maybe she wouldn’t be happier, but her blog might not be so repetitive. Is there a more formulaic blog in our city?

1 Bad Date
+ 1 “Didn’t You Know”
+ 1 “This is the word of…”
3 minutes of wasted life.

Only recently, with her roast of Life of a Single Woman, can SPC finally claim the Dynastic dynamism (some might say “terrific trampism”) of Joan Collins. Actually, her blog is more reminiscent of Melrose Place, only the writing is worse, the plot more see-through and there’s no eye candy to distract the audience.

Speaking of bad writing, have you read any of SPC’s haiku? Her haiku are so bad they make greeting card drivel seem like Modernist masterpieces. A local student tried to pass off one of SPC’s haiku as her own and not only did school officials put her on anti-depressants, they sent the poor kid home on the short bus. Hell, everytime one of these is read, the Japanese government considers redefining the form. Here’s a haiku for you, SPC:

Before You Write Poetry
If you cannot spell
considerate“, “consider
it” all off limits.

All in all, SPC’s blog is truly representative of Kansas City, spread out wide and willing to bend over for any possibility of future development.

DIDN’T YOU KNOW? Superficial Plaza Chick keeps the Chachs of KC in check – and writes about it with no-holds-barred wit and sarcasm. BB! reads her..and so should you.

Comments

Sweet. Jesus. Why waste the space? I won’t bore you with my feelings on her, but I always enjoy catfights.

Onto more important matters: we inherited a Dyson from my parents and it’s the shit. Seriously. The most fun I’ve ever had while cleaning. And I love to clean.

Posted by: bex

i know those dyson’s are nice…but with roomba – you don’t even have to be there!!!
i can vacuum all day every day without ever having to vacuum.
i can vacuum while i take a shower
i can vacuum while i work out
i can vacuum while i sleep (if i don’t mind a little noise)
O ROOMBA! my Roomba! our cleaning trip is just begun

as for SPC, she’s all right by me.

Posted by: jdoublep

Before I end it all, allow me to retort

Sock it to me

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