(To the tune of “Me and My Shadow”)

For the dirt that sticks to the floor
For the hairs and other crap, too
Like you’ll never get rid of your shadow
Roomba, I’ll never get rid of you

Let all the others vacuums try to suck
Whatever happens, we’ve got us.

Me and my Roomba
It sucks better than Dysons or Hoovers can do
We’re closer than Brigitte and Foofie-foo!
(Strolling down the avenue)
Wherever you find it, you’ll find me, just look
My Roomba is to dirt as librarians are to books

Me and my Roomba
If it could fly it could clean the smog that clings to L.A.
If it could speak it would tell us all, “Life’s OKAAAAAY!”
Not a speck of dust can escape this vacuum
Roomba’s smarter than most people I talk too

And when its power’s drained
That’s when my Roomba makes haste
It searches high and low
for it’s self-charging base!

(What a surprise!)

Me and my Roomba
And now to repeat what I said at the start
They’ll need a large crowbar to break us apart
The room is clean but Roomba’s far from through
As it shuts down it beeps a sweet, “I love you…”

Before we get finished, we’ll make this town clean
From Village West to Blue Springs and all spaces between
We’ll wind up at Jilly’s where they don’t treat you mean
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
(here comes the vacuum!)
For my Roomba and me!

Say Jason?
What is it, Roomba?
Do me a favor?
What do you want, now?
Would you mind throwing some dirt on the floor, just one more time?
Right here?
No! ALLLLLLL OVER!
Wonderful!

And while we are cleaning, to mention a few
We’ll drop in at The Brick, The Hurricane too
But wind up at Jilly’s, whatever we do
Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
(Wow!)
For my Roomba and me!

[BACKSTORY]